When Things Get Shady.

This is an e-mail dedicated to a nice girl named Kiersten that I work with who brought to my attention of the vast gray areas among us guys! You know who you are! According to her, she had went on a couple of dates with this guy who put her in a emotional gray areas about whether or not they had a relationship. This seems typical, because us guys have always been gray areas since the beginning of time. So with that in mind, we are going to let this loose with Skibicki Research who has found an expert on guys. That is right, ladies! Forget those magazine images of guys! So we leave our questions to Dr. Skibicki who is currently single and will never get laid again!

• Ladies: What is up with all of those gray areas when ever us girls ask you guys about serious questions like relationships?


• Skibicki: Well, to be honest, I don't know! Just kidding! Really, what it comes down to is that you forced us to think about it. It is not to say that us guys don't think. It is just that those questions are like a riddles to us.


• Ladies: Explain!


• Skibicki: You see what I mean? It is too complicated! For example, if you were to ask me, "What is black and white and red all over?", I would be lost in the dark. Keep in mind that we might know the answers to your questions, it was just that you asked during a bad time. Timing is everything!


• Ladies: So when is a good time?


• Skibicki: Well, I can't answer that at 10 AM, but I can give you all of the times when not to ask important questions. Don't bother during the middle of the night, while sleeping, during breakfast, lunch, and dinner, during Batman movies, Adult Swim on the Cartoon Network, basketball games, happy hour, in the morning, at work, during construction, and daytime!

The problem comes down to us guys. When starting a new relationship, you must realize that we are men of action, not words. Why else do you think the United States Constitution had so many problems! After 50-something drafts, our country was built upon the idea that all men are created equal! Of course, you saw what happened with that! What I want to say is that you ladies need to ignore the questions about relationships for at least two weeks after you had the urge to ask it. Maybe, send a memo in advance to let us know what is on your mind. Just remember that we are like deer, if you ask important questions too early, it is like turning on you high beams! To solve those gray areas, be direct, and ask in a "Yes or No" format! For example:

Girl: I love you. Do you love me, yes or no. If you can't speak blink once for "Yes", and twice for "No." This approach should work. If he is speechless and blinks three times, just give up!

But before I let you go with more questions, thoughts, and theories, I would like for you ladies to please refrain from asking those: "What are you thinking?" or "What is on your mind?" questions! That is nearly a death trap for us guys. You might even be doing it on purpose after leaving you in a gray areas! Just trust me when I say that you really do not want to know what we are thinking! The results would either end up being slapped or being slapped! So in closing, all I can really say about us guys, since I am one, is not to dig too deeply with questions, and you will probably be happy together. Just share the love!

Skibicki

P.S. If you ladies have more questions or possible death threats for Dr. Skibicki, write to dskibicki@hotmail.com. Thank you, and have a nice day!